Unqualified

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I chose the word “Embrace” as my touchstone this year–it’s the word I return to when the view through the lens of my life grows scratched over and shadowed, when everything looks dim. I chose Embrace to walk beside me as a guide of sorts, and I hung a watercolor of my word on the wall where I’m sure to see it daily, and then I promptly forgot all about it.

Or rather, my fog-filled brain forgot, but I buried the word in the deepest parts of me and my soul remembered Embrace, my deeply-rooted guide. In a series of life-changing decisions I still don’t entirely understand, my heart beat to embrace¬†this year and all of its opportunities, without waiting for my brain to catch up.

I often wake up before the sun and I force myself to jump out of bed at the first alarm because I know a single thought will press in and keep me bound to bed if I allow it. The thought is this: I am wholly unqualified in every area of my current life. I literally have no idea what I’m doing most days. I don’t know how to manage the calendar or the demands or the people. I don’t know how to capture the words or give good advice or read a book purely for pleasure. I don’t know how to make the hands of the clock tick slower, slower so I might have more time to look my people in the eyes and really see them.

All I know how to do is open my arms to the day, and allow Christ to enter into this day with me. I ask for daily bread and the miracle of loaves and fishes. Surely, He can multiply ability and talent. Surely, He can multiply the hours and minutes. My job is to stand ready with open arms, to fill up on the bounty and embrace it.

………..

Where do you feel unqualified? How are you letting Christ step into that space?

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