On Letting Go

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I watered the flowers in the dark last night, by the light of the waxing gibbous moon. I shivered in the cool air, realizing for the first time that Fall is coming soon. My hands are a sieve and time is passing through them. Summer slipped through the cracks and crevices, and a few big memories remain, but the rest dripped down and out, making room for the next season.

Fall will be a season of schedules and work and preparing for our oldest’s future. I’m afraid I will miss something. A friend asked me a medical question a few days ago, and I realized after 15 years out of the nursing field, I no longer have any answers. I told her I don’t know, I don’t have room for that, the answers poured through the sieve many years ago. I had to let them go in order to make room for all the other bits of information and memories and tasks of my real life. I don’t have room to hold onto the former.

When the cool air hit my face last night, it slapped me awake. I don’t want to miss my favorite season, or the children growing into themselves, or me growing into myself either. I want the stories of our life to wrap themselves tight around my wrists, and to wind themselves into my hair. I hope the scent of things to come will cling to me everywhere I go, rather than the scent of what’s already lost–the parts of my life that have already passed through the strain of time. There is so much clinging to me that I simply must let go. Expectations, abandoned desires, failures, residual sadness, knowledge that no longer serves me well.

It’s time to let them pass through, rather than cling to the summer me, it’s time to embrace the next season, to tighten my focus on the coming Fall.

………….

Is there anything you need to release as you set your face towards the new season? What is one new thing you hope to learn, grow in, or experience in the Fall?

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  • Amen! As a person who hates change I needed to hear this. Thank you. Bless you.

    • Thanks for stopping by, Barbara:)

  • ourstoriesgodsglory

    Yes…I’m a poor letter-goer. And there is so much I need to let go of in this new season – my kids and even my last one with just 2 years of college to go, my home as we prepare to move, my husband as he seeks the next thing. I hope to learn to trust God more and more and more. To let go of my expectations of myself and trying to meet others’ expectations, and seek to please only one. And I hope to really have an impact as I step into my new role as life coach. Thanks for prompting this reflection!

    • You’re in huge season of transition, Elise. Praying for God’s grace to cover every change and every emotion it births in you.

  • Maria Rineer

    Nicely written and thought provoking.

  • Kelly Hausknecht Chripczuk

    Beautiful writing, Kimberly. And I am with you – caught between the loss and new, looking over my shoulder, then looking ahead.

    • Here’s to hoping that neither of us get whiplash looking front to back! 🙂

  • Laura Gregory

    You captured this feeling perfectly… It is so hard to let go. I think writing is what helps me to let go, because the memory is preserved even if the moment is gone… Thank you so much for sharing.

  • Cuyler Black

    Wisdom comes from learning what to hold on to and what to let go of. We face those decisive moments, large and small, every day. Thanks, Kimberly, for reminding me of the importance of paying attention to what I’m allowing to pass, or not allowing to pass, through the sieve!