Adults behaving badly

DSC_0453

When we moved to Switzerland four years ago, my kids hadn’t reached the point where sports were an ordinary part of our lives. They reluctantly participated in whatever athletic endeavor struck my fancy when I received the local YMCA registration. Usually, my choices revolved around nap times and when I needed a break from staring at the four walls of my living room.

Living overseas, we were at the mercy of the international school sports program, which happened to be run by a happy-go-lucky Ghanian soccer star and a grumpy German whose idea of gymnastics involved the kids schlepping the heavy mats around the gym and occasionally rolling around on them. As genetics would have it, my kids didn’t play soccer. And I taught schlepping for free, mostly in the form of overloaded suitcases. Many of the students came from Europe or South America, so traditional American sports weren’t offered in the lower school. The middle school did offer them, and this allowed for a my daughter to play softball and basketball in a super low-key environment with students who likely hadn’t played an “American” sport before.

It was fantastic. And fun, really, really fun. It offered the perfect on-ramp for learning teamwork and good sportsmanship, while the parents sat around and chatted, half of us never understanding the rules of the games. (Sadly, as a confirmed anti-athlete, I still know nothing about any of these sports. My husband once caught me reading a book at a minor league baseball game, which may contribute to the problem.)

Fast-forward four years, and we have immersed ourselves into every sport our township and schools have to offer. I spend a lot of time cheering for things I don’t completely understand, which is basically how I operate in daily life, so I’m working within my skill set here.  As I sit on the sidelines with some intensely involved (read: obnoxious) parents, discussing the merits of a six-day per week and late-night practices, I feel thrust into deep waters.

My husband coached basketball for two of our kids teams, and I discovered that he was one of the few coaches who didn’t throw their hands up in utter despair and mouth unpleasantries at eleven year olds trying to hold their own on a court. One grandpa turned to me yesterday and remarked, “I like him. He’s gentle with the kids”,  while M stood across the court high-fiving each and every one of them.

I know a family whose lives are held prisoner by their kids athletic schedules. Church, friendships, school, even normal everyday life bows down to the almighty sports god. I see how it becomes an idol, and I fear that we will fall into this trap of idolatry, never returning to a sense of fair play and fun. Parents, where is all the fun?

I don’t have any answers, only questions and wishful thinking. I won’t ever push my kids to be the best at every game, but if I’m going to sit on the sidelines for hours every week, I want us to learn from and enjoy it. Idol-less, with high-fives included.

Subscribe

  • Kathleen Botsford

    We had the same parents and the constant sports and activity schedules here. The good thing is you are in charge as the mom. I chose not to get the kids involved with more than one activity AND only if they truly loved it. My eldest daughter did blame me for not forcing her to stay with gymnastics when she didn’t make the squad in high school…. and thats ok. Family dinners were our main focus and we sat down every evening together. The same daughter told her basketball coach she couldn’t play any longer because practice
    interfered with our dinner schedule….

  • KimberlyAmici

    My husband and I have been talking about this lately. This obsession with sports and being in all of them. My kids enthusiasm for all things that roll and make you run doesn’t help. I find it hard telling the difference between give them the opportunities we never had and over scheduling and over committing.