When the sign points home

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To reach the finish line at the Lucerne half-marathon, you have to run straight up to this wall of road signs. When all of those arrows stare you square in the face, you feel as if you are standing at the cross roads of the world. Shall I go north or south? Italian or French? Over the mountain or through? Choices, so many choices.

The sheer number of them used to cripple me. I feared making the wrong decision because what if I chose badly? What if I got lost or missed the detour or took an exit too early and missed out on my destination altogether? For a long time, I chose not to make too many decisions in the hopes God would make them for me. I limited my own journey with pessimism and fear. I assumed if God intended for me to travel in a particular direction, a single sign would appear pointing THIS WAY.

And then I grew up and had kids and moved countries three times and realized God created free will for a reason. Sometimes He leads us to one specific destination, but He is just as likely to hammer up a wall of signposts with exits pointing in every direction, and offer us the freedom to choose. His will becomes less a map and more a compass, and even in the choosing, He always remains our true North.

After many years, a number of bad decisions, and a few brilliant ones which deserve a champagne toast, I look at these road signs and I see endless possibilities. Endless ways to get lost and be found again. Endless detours and roundabouts and destinations. I rather like traveling through life this way.

I hoped the next few months would be more of the same, more freedom and more choices. Instead, my husband and I have experienced a narrowing of the road. A straight path beats its way back to a single destination. Gone are the detours and the exits. We are moving home and right now home doesn’t have a lot to offer. There is no house or perfect job. There is no publishing contract, no community, no grand plan, and no time to tie all of these loose ends up into a tidy bow. There is the road, and a single sign pointing THIS WAY–>, and so I resolve to pull out my compass and allow it to guide me home.

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Where are you in your journey? Headed in one direction or reveling in the choices?

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