Archives for August 2012

Five Minute Friday: Change

It’s Friday and, once again, I’m joining Lisa-Jo for Five Minutes of spilling our thoughts onto the virtual page. If you have five minutes to spare to write or read or leave a word of encouragement for someone else, hop on over to Lisa-Jo’s and join in. Happy Friday!

      1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

 

      2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

 

            3.

Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

Today’s Prompt: Change

 

Yesterday felt more like Fall than Summer. The cool wind blew in and brought with it rain and a throbbing sore throat. Fall might be here to stay. My eyes are already focused on next Spring, the season in which we’ll find a new home and begin the process of another move. But Fall is my favorite season, and I worry it will pass me by before I have the chance to breathe in its musky fallen-leaf scent.

I look for homes online with an eye to the future. I imagine my furniture replacing the ugly three piece leather sectional of the current owners, and I think that home might embrace a little change. I look forward, eyes locked on the change that is coming and I forget to enjoy what is right now.

Change turns leaves like the seasons, and just when we begin to enjoy the one we’re in, when we remember to dress appropriately for the weather, it subtly shifts into the next one. We find ourselves in the attic looking for the sweaters we packed away in the green rubber bin, wondering why we only wore our swimsuit three times this summer. I want to wear the swimsuit more, knowing by the time sweaters roll around I’ll be ready to wrap myself fully in them.

 

PS Speaking of change, Find time for tea is right smack in the middle of a make-over. Thanks for your patience and understanding with any quirks or difficulties using the site.

When it’s time to hire a professional

As you can see, things are shifting around a bit here. My husband, keeper of technology and all things genius, spent inordinate amounts of time over the last few weeks migrating my blog from blogger to wordpress. It looks a bit weird and there’s a great deal I don’t know how to fix. However, I’ve called in the professionals. From here, the old/new girl will be getting a make-over of sorts in the next few weeks. It’s almost like trying out a new hair color only better, as the makeover will be completed by someone who knows what they’re doing rather than a self-inflicted drug-store DIY version. Not that I would know anything about drug store hair color and how many boxes of bleach it takes to go from brown to orange to bottle blonde all in a two-day period. Nothing at all. So, if in the next few weeks this space looks a little less blonde and a little more carrot top, I’d be grateful for your understanding. Thank you, friends.

Confident hope

She walked out of the house wearing black flip-flops, arms wrapped around one piece of soft luggage, a sleeping bag, and a backpack. I strongly discouraged the flip-flops as the destination didn’t include a beach, but rather a small village near the peak of a Swiss mountain. She looked at me as if I had two heads sharing one brain between them when I recommended she wear the hiking boots I spent thirty minutes debating over in the shop.

When the boots wouldn’t fit in the bag, she carried them to the car hanging from the two fingers she could spare. I watched her and said “You’re kidding, right?” She rolled her eyes. In the course of our ten minute ride, she managed to work her magic on the shoes until they disappeared into a nest of tangled clothing and granola bars.

We drove up to the coach and the hundred kids waiting outside–all carrying rolls and bags–all decked out in hiking gear. I thought of the flip-flops and decided to choose my battles wisely. I didn’t say a word. I looked at her and she looked everywhere but at me as she gathered her things and ignored my smart silence and squinted into the crowd of sweatshirts and lace up boots for her friends. I reached across the seat to give a half-hug and I got as far as a pat on her shoulder and a loud “I love you, have fun!” as she barreled out of the car with all of her gear. The crowd swallowed her and her flip-flops whole.

On the drive home, I allowed myself one dirty, twisted moment to imagine the worst case scenario where a five day school trip turns into forever. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and my watering eyes. My hand on her shoulder and a rushed goodbye didn’t feel like enough. At home, I walked into her room with stack of clean clothes and I breathed her in. I thought of her thirteenth birthday arriving in a few weeks and I wondered if I’ll ever feel like I’ve done enough.

When she’s eighteen and she flip-flops her way into adulthood and my choice of battles must be all the wiser, will it be enough? Did enough love pulse through my actions like a string of heartbeats? Did I expose enough, hide enough, laugh long and loud enough? Did I give her just the right amount of crazy to discuss with a counselor someday? Enough for her to remember we’re all a little bit broken? Did I show her so much of the beauty that her heart never learns to fear the ugly? And did I make up for all of my lack with enough whispered prayers to paper the floors and walls and ceiling of her heart?

It’s too soon to tell. But I can tell you this, five days isn’t forever. Before long, I’ll return to stringing heartbeats and acting just crazy enough. I’ll show her the beauty and pray with a confident hope she remembers where to find it, and if she’s ever unsure she only need look as far as the walls of her heart.

Five Minute Friday: Join

It’s Friday and, once again, I’m joining Lisa-Jo for Five Minutes of spilling our thoughts onto the virtual page. If you have five minutes to spare to write or read or leave a word of encouragement for someone else, hop on over to Lisa-Jo’s and join in. Happy Friday!

    1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
    2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
    3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

Today’s Prompt: Join

I read today’s prompt and I considered not joining. Ironic, no? The word join brings up memories of team sports and bible studies and after school clubs. It reminds me of Vacation Bible School and compulsory fun. I have a strict policy against compulsory fun. It can’t be fun if I am required to do it.
My husband comes home from various conferences or group meetings and tells me about the team building exercises. I shudder and think it might literally kill me if I needed to attend one of those functions. Please do not ask me to take fifty straws and build a complex structure with ten other people. You will find me hiding beneath the tree branches reading a book instead.
Some of my reluctance comes from a place of freedom, as in I need to feel a sense of freedom. It also comes from a place of fear, and I’m working hard to change this. Hence the joining in on Five Minute Fridays. Fear keeps me from taking part, from wondering if I will be the last one chosen for the team. It keeps me from saying what I think, and joining the crowd, and believing I have something to offer each one of you. I’ve stood behind the glass looking in for too long, wondering if there is a space for me within the circle. I’d like to believe there is, and next to me I’ll save an open space for you. Compulsory fun not included. 

Drawing from the waters

Today feels like a good day to pretend we’re sitting beneath rainbow colored canvas on a pebbly beach, watching the ebb and flow of the waves. I don’t need a day of rest so much as I need a day to remember  joy. I read this verse in the book of Isaiah this morning and I thought of joy and I thought of you.

“Therefore with joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.” ~Isaiah 12:3
The wells of salvation run deeper and wider than the greatest of oceans. They give relief broader and more pleasant than any spot of shade. They reach higher than the sky and we cannot fathom the depths of them. God invites us to draw from their waters and to do so with joy. 
Draw with joy, friends. Reach into the cool waters of salvation and let them refresh your spirit and bring life to every part of you that feels dry and barren. May salvation flow over your friendships, your marriage, your daily work, your people, your art, your calling, and your spirit. And may you find joy in its healing waters. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PS:

I mentioned last week that I am in the process of transferring this blog over to a wordpress site, or more truthfully, my husband is in the process of transferring it over. For a little while, the new site will look much like the old, but behind the scenes she’ll be getting a makeover. I don’t know exactly what she’ll look like yet, but as with any baby, I suppose I will think her beautiful.

If you have a moment to spare, I’d love to hear what you like about the current blog and what you don’t. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments or email me at: kimberly@teamcoyle.net. You can also find me on twitter if you prefer to meet up over there: @KimberlyACoyle. I welcome any of your suggestions regarding design and/or content. Unless you want me to write more about my dog and his penchant for eating poop. I find it exceedingly difficult to find the joy there.