Keeping Company

Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement since my last post. I gathered each one of them to my heart, where I will save them for a time when I feel like giving up on writing. Which, I’m finding, is nearly every evening after I’ve written a bit and none of it comes out the way it sounds in my head. Fear is the thing I fight most. Fear says I am not good enough, or known enough, or I have nothing of value to say. I am learning to let the fears come, to sit with them for a moment, and then send them on their way. They may not know it, but they’re just passing through.

The things that stick, the ones I give permission to hang around for a while, are the things I’ve worked for the hardest. In the past few years I’ve run three marathons (I may have mentioned it once or thirty seven times), and over time, as my bone and muscle built up strength and endurance, so did my spirit. I’ve built up the muscle of perseverance and stretched the fibers of determination, and on the days when they simply want to pass through, I take their hand and ask them to stay with me for a while. It doesn’t take much convincing when they know they are welcome and needed.

Fear may not be your traveling companion. Perhaps it’s anger or confusion or pride. Know this, if you are stepping out in faith, these things will come. It doesn’t mean you are following the wrong path, it means you need to look for new companions to join you on the journey. I’ve discovered the closer I get to fear, the closer I am to reaching a place of freedom, where faith leads, fear fails, and I keep company with courage.

Who is keeping you company these days, and who is just passing through?