Bloom

Last week, I bought myself a bouquet of peonies. I keep flowers in the house most days because they make me smile. This time however, after paying for and bagging my groceries, I walked past the flower department on my way to the exit. I hadn’t planned to stop, I was in a hurry and the cart was filled to the top with all of the necessary goods. Things like toilet cleaner and lettuce. I walked past black buckets of roses and babies breath and started to pick up my pace, stopping mid-stride when I spotted the heavy, tight buds of the peonies. They’re my favorite flower. I picked one bouquet out of the bucket, looked at the price tag, and put it back. Then I picked it up again. Then I put it back.

It was ridiculous, both the price and the puny number of buds. I spied a larger bouquet, multi-colored, with a bright flash of pink petals. I hesitated to look at the price tag, but I did and even though it was silly to pay the equivalent of twenty dollars for a bunch of peonies, I bought them anyway.

I set them on the table in a white pitcher, and all week long I watched them open from tight fists to open petaled palms. It was like watching joy unfurl. There is so much hope bound up in the bud, so much potential for beauty. For some time now, I’ve felt God whispering the word ‘Bloom’ to me. I hear it echoing in my spirit, a call to the hope and potential He placed in me. I felt it there for years, growing from seed to sprout to bud, and I wondered if the blooming would ever happen. I thought maybe I’d die before I had the chance to find out what I’m made of, before I had the chance to blossom. That might sound seven shades of crazy and melodramatic, but I was the bud for so long I thought I might wither on the stem.

This year, I feel the beginnings of the bloom. I have wrestled privately, and occasionally here on this blog, with my desire to write. As I’ve grown, so has my love for stringing words. I’ve hesitated to call myself a writer out of fear it isn’t true. But the truth is, I write, and when I do I feel the petals shifting, readying themselves. A few months ago, with the word ‘Bloom’ breathing heavy down my neck, I began to accept that it’s possible, I might just be a little bit of a writer. And so I started writing some things, not here, but in a file in Microsoft Word. And this one precious file has grown into something more than I thought it would, and so I’m making some shape and some sense out of it, and I’m wrapping it all up in something called a book proposal. I don’t know if you can fully appreciate the ridiculousness of this. I can, but I continue working on it anyway, on both the writing and the blooming. Because I realize now, I can’t have one without the other.

How about you? Are you budding, blooming, or somewhere in between? Please share! I need the encouragement.

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  • oh, darlin’. bloom.bloom.bloom. you are a writer, as well as an amazing soul. lift your face up and soak in the sun. it shines for you.

  • Bloom away! I love your blog, and this beautiful post about the peonies came at a perfect time for me. So inspirational! Good luck with your book proposal. I will try to bloom, too.

  • I’m finally starting to bloom. After quite a few years discerning what God wanted me to do, He opened a door for me this year that allowed me to begin to bloom. I had been volunteering my time at our church leading women’s bible studies, retreats and events, while working full-time as the secretary in the church office. In January of this year I became the Director of Women’s Ministry. It literaly was 9 years of God planting, watering, fertilizing and preparing me for ministry and to now be able to bloom in the area that God has called me to is so exciting. I know that God isn’t finished with me yet. He has placed a dream in my heart and spirit that I know will one day lead me to my own women’s ministry outside of my church. Even before I received this new position, I heard God saying to me, “One day you will go out into the world and share with women your faith story. You will help them to understand the amazing relationship I can have with them. Be patient and know that I am preparing you for something larger than you could ever have imagined.” At times it can be overwhelming and a little scary, but when God calls us and begins to place it upon our hearts, we need to push through our insecurities and fear and have faith that where God leads us is better than anything we could ever imagine.
    You are a talented writer and I have enjoyed reading about your life in Switzerland, your family and your insights into faith and life. God bless you!!

  • Kimberly! That’s so exciting that you’re bringing your writing together in book form. Thank you for your fearlessness in bringing words together, here, in the MS Word file that’s slowly blossoming into something more. I am so excited to see where you go from here!

    I’m budding now, mulling over writing a book myself, but not sure if He’s placing that firm call on my heart just yet. We’ll see. :]

  • That is awesome about your potential book proposal! Congrats, and definitely go for it! I’m new to your blog but can already tell you have sweet and wonderful way of conveying yourself. Good luck!

  • oh how fun! i know you can do it!

  • Michael

    There’s nothing ridiculous about it. You are a writer. And it’s a part of the reason I love you. Bloom baby. Bloom.

  • Unfurling in an explosion of color and joy! You, beautiful you, writing and creating, words and ideas unfurling…this is a good, rich, splurge.