31 Days to Finding Freedom: {Day 2} Who makes the rules anyway?

‘The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.’ ~Ayn Rand

Nearly everything I’ve ever believed or thought or lived has been the complete opposite of Rand’s sentiment. There have been times when I would have given my left eyeball to understand that kind of freedom. 
Let me say here, that I do think rules are inherently good. I feel safe knowing where the boundaries lie. I’m not talking about freedom from the laws of the land or from biblical principals. I am talking about the unspoken ones, or the silly ones, or the ones that breathe burden instead of life into us.
As I’ve mentioned a time or twenty, I am a rule follower by nature. I love me some rules. And because I love the rules, I find that much of my life I have been standing around waiting for permission. Waiting for someone to tell me that who I am and what I do, feel, think is okay. For me, the question has always been ‘who is going to let me?’
That kind of question leads to a life that fits very neatly into a tidy little box. It looks pretty on the outside, but on the inside is a tangled mess of unfulfilled dreams and desires. I have lived that life. I have tried to look, behave and sound like the girl I thought I should be, instead of simply being honest about who I really am.

I have been the girl who taught Sunday school because it was the ‘right’ thing to do, when to tell the truth, I don’t really like other people’s kids. I have been the girl who became a nurse because it was ‘something to fall back on’, when I don’t like the practice of medicine and I have an extreme aversion to wiping adult backsides. I have denied my love for writing and beauty and art because they aren’t practical, I have put chores before my children, and I have solidly refused to step outside my comfort zone again and again and again. 

On the outside, I looked very good, but on the inside I was carrying the weight of being someone God never created me to be. He made me for freedom. He made me free to discover who I am outside of that pretty little box, even when who I am sometimes looks messy. He is the answer to the question ‘Who is going to let me?’
I am free to imagine, to create, to dream because these are the things that God knit into my being. He speaks to my heart who I am: His Beloved. He calls me what I am: Redeemed. And He reminds me what He gives: Freedom. 
Tomorrow we’ll talk about you. What are some areas that you feel you need to find freedom? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

This post is part of a 31 day series. I promise to return to my regularly irregular and non-cohesive posting in November. For my first 31 day post click here, for more 31 Day topics (and there are a LOT!) click here