More on Revealing

Part two.  Read Part 1 here.  

I never asked God to show me what was in my heart.  I never asked Him to reveal it.  I never wanted Him to peel back my layers like an onion and show me what was really at the center.  But He did it anyway.  He did it, and it was ugly.  Rotten, even.

And all of this revealing?  It has consequences.  My husband and my children have had to face this with me.  They’ve had to face the me that was true.  The seemingly unredeemed parts, the woman who was selfish and lacking in humility, the wife who was judgemental and cold, the mother who put herself first. They faced the miserable me who couldn’t surrender and wouldn’t submit to the work that God wanted to do, because I was not going down without a fight.

So I fought.  I tried to outrun (literally), I tried to cover up, I tried to shift blame.  I tried everything in an attempt to avoid looking at what God was showing me about my heart.  Yet, He continued to peel me back.  He stripped me bare, He revealed.  And I have never been the same.

I have found grace.  The grace that saves and redeems and sets free.  Grace changes things.  It doesn’t allow room for false humility and woe is me.  It allows for repentance and acceptance.  It allows me a Savior.  And He is what I needed all along.