On being a Mama

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren

….and often times we are thinking for our children alone. It’s not very often that I have the luxury of thinking about what I would like, or what is best for me. The first, and frequently only, question I get to ask is “Is it good for my children?”.

I just finished an interesting book called Mama PhD. It is a series of essays written by women in academia and how their professional lives are affected by motherhood. It was an eye opener into the lives of intelligent and highly educated women and how the world of academics has little room for them as mothers. It left most of them having to make the decision between their career and their family.

I’ve been thinking about what my plan will be once all three kids are in school full time. I’m thinking about what I would like to do vs what is most beneficial to my kids. I’m thinking of time constraints and money constraints, and wondering where my life is headed. I’ve been incredibly blessed to stay at home with my kids during their early years. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but there are days when I wish there was something more for me too.