Archives for June 2009

Gone fishin’

“We” took the kids fishing at the local park recently. I’m not exactly the outdoorsy type, so Michael took over fishin’ duty while I took photos and tried not to ask “Is it time to go yet?” too many times.

Sophie loves to fish. Especially with a hot pink fishing rod.

Poor little sunny. It usually takes Sophie more than one throw to get these slippery little guys back in the pond. Nothing like a little grass in your gills on the return trip.

The big kids decided to forgo fishing and spent time riding their bikes. That’s another thing I prefer not to do. I’m thankful for a husband who likes to do normal kid stuff. I fear that under my lone influence the kids would spend their summers writing reflective poetry while listening to chamber music. Not that that’s weird or anything;)


More Thoughts

Have you heard Cold Desert? I’ve been listening to it lately and it’s been weighing heavy on me. Particularly this verse:

I never ever cried when I was feeling down
I’ve always been scared of the sound
Jesus don’t love me, no one ever carried my load
I’m too young to feel this old

This song was written by a man who grew up in a deeply religious home with a pentecostal preacher for a father. A father who fell away from faith. And as his faith and family unraveled, his three little boys watched all that their life was built on fall away, stripped bare.

It strikes me in two ways. One, the incredible responsibility I have to my children. To live Christ. And two, I wonder, how does one turn away? How is it, that once you’ve seen and known and lived this faith, you can turn away? Wrestle with it, feel the weight of it, question it, sure. But turn away? I can’t grasp it.

I know that ultimately my children are responsible for their own faith. But, I also know that I’m responsible for living my life in a way that points them to Christ. I don’t want to be fearful of that, but it takes a depth and breadth of faith that I’m not always sure I have.

This song makes me want to get it right for my kids. It makes me want to cry for those boys and their preacher Daddy. And it makes me want to pray. For me, for my kids, for everyone struggling against the burden of doubt and fear.


Head Space

I’ve put off posting for the last few days because I really don’t have that much to say. Such is summer. I find that I don’t have enough head space in the summertime to really think about much of consequence. With the kids here 24/7 it’s a challenge to really put thought to pen and paper. Or in this case to keyboard and blog. I have a lot of random things on my mind, but these thoughts are just wisps and shadows that are passing through and don’t stay long enough for me to capture them.

I ran a comfortable eight miles today. I’m feeling quite proud of myself for that. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to stick it out, but that seems like a small hurdle conquered. I have moments (frequently) where I think of quitting, and then I pull off a good medium-ish length run, and it spurs me forward. I don’t know if you know this, but I’m a quitter. I quit a lot of stuff. It’s hard to admit, but it’s the truth.

Maybe that’s my problem with budgets too. Hmm, another thing to add to the list of “Kimberly’s things to think about”. It’s a very long list.

There’s one thing that I have been turning over and over in my mind lately. One thing that I’ve grasped and held down and wrestled to the floor. There’s no clear winner, but I’m worn out with thinking about it. We’ll talk about it tomorrow though. Me admitting that I’m a quitter is enough for one day, don’t you agree?


On Rome and fighting

Day two of summer vacation. We have had numerous sibling fights break out, quite a few punishments received, and more rain. But, hey, on the upside Michael is in Rome on business (she says with words heavily layered in sarcasm).

Speaking of fighting and Rome, Michael and I had a less than romantic getaway there a few years back. Have you ever experienced that? Once you finally have some alone time with your spouse, everything you’ve been holding in for months comes flooding out? Every undiscussed issue rears its head and now you have the time to talk about it. No? You have no idea what I’m talking about? Maybe it’s just me. I like to wait until Michael has no where to run before I decide we need to “talk”.

I decided we needed to “talk” here at the Trevi Fountain.

And here at the Spanish steps. Don’t let the smile fool you. I was seething beneath it.

And it resumed at the Pantheon.

We took a short break from the fighting at the Colosseum. It didn’t seem right to fight over petty things when we were in a place where our brothers and sisters in Christ were tortured for their faith. I’m sure God was so pleased.

That was short lived and by the time we reached Vatican city, I had lost my religion and we fought the entire way through the experience. Apparently, the Pope doesn’t bring out the best in me.

There was a great deal of crying, screaming and stomping about. Fortunately, this is nothing new for the Italians. I fit right in.

Someday we’ll go back and do it all over again. Until then, Michael is eating caprese salad in the shadow of the Pantheon, while I eat chicken nuggets and reminisce about one of the few non “talking” moments of our trip….


It’s Official

Summer’s here with her sunny days, bright blooms and poolside fun. I live in NJ, so this is all theory and conjecture on my part. We have had cool, rainy days nearly the entire month of June. There has been no sun, most of my flowers have drowned, and the pool is a distant memory. If I ever leave my house with my sanity intact, I’ll let you know.

This summer, I’ve staggered our activities to allow for lots of whining and complaining, I mean relaxing and creative play. We’ll be attending camp and VBS, vacationing in Vermont with friends, and hanging by the pool. We will try to squeeze in hi jinks and adventure as much as possible.

On a personal level, I will be focused on these lofty goals:

1. Avoiding the appearance of more sun spots on my face.
2. Not dying while training for the marathon
3.Cooking as little as possible
4. Not cursing Dave Ramsey and his budget
5. Trying to keep my cool when I hear “he/she’s a meanie meanie bo beanie” for the thousandth time.

Summer’s here, let the fun begin!