Thirty four and counting

“I am old enough to see how little I have done in so much time, and how much I have to do in so little.” ~Sheila Kaye-Smith

This week was my 34th birthday. I usually take stock each year and look back at where I’ve been, what I’ve accomplished, or when I’ve massively screwed up. For most of the last ten years much of this has revolved around my kids…”this year I was pregnant, had a baby, weaned a baby, potty trained a baby….” Or in the case of screw ups, “This year I dropped the baby, got locked in a closet by the baby, in a fit of anger almost gave away the baby…” etc.

This last year was a huge shift for me. My 33rd year was the year I didn’t have any more babies, and decided that I wasn’t going to, ever again. I know my limitations. So, with my kids growing more independent each day, I actually had to start thinking about my birthday in terms of myself. Insert near mid life crisis.

It’s been a really tough year. There were tears and frustration and even a stint with a christian counselor. (Which, by the way, was the best thing I ever did for myself). I took an honest look at who I am and who I want to be. With stops, starts, mistakes and small triumphs , I started to walk a path that will lead me there. It’s been the hardest, most uncomfortable year of my life. I’ve met precious few goals, but for me, last year was about the journey. This year is about having something to show for it.



  • Gillian

    Happy Birthday! I hope 2009 is a great year for your journey.