If you’re ever feeling poorly about your performance as a parent, or get tired of hearing your kids bicker over the same things again and again, I encourage you to stop by at this here blog. I guarantee you will feel better in no time.
I began my day with a sick kid in my bed, which was then followed by an early morning wake up call reminding me to bring bagels to my bible study. Ooops. Forgot about that. Can’t make it, sick kid and all.
Enter two cranky pants kids fighting over such meaningful things as who must get the milk out of the fridge and who is more annoying just by their very existence. This argument was brought to an abrupt end when my boy tells my animal loving girl that he wishes he was a poacher, so he could kill all animals. Just because.
Oh, sick kid is awake. She should stay home, especially since I told bible study friend that I’m slacking on the bagel delivery. However, it’s picture day at preschool and Momma has a hair appointment. Momma really needs to keep this hair appointment. Enter a homemade cocktail of Motrin, Tylenol, and a Z bar. Add to this the promise of something special in sick kid’s lunch bag to encourage her to stay (thank you M&M’s).
Wow, Momma’s hair looks great! Husband might decide to keep her after all. Go to school to pick up sick kid, and am greeted by Headmistress. She says S repeatedly told her she was “sick”. Headmistress states that “your mommy wouldn’t send you to school if you were sick”. Sick kid is confused. Momma looks really bad in light of this, however her hair looks so good that she’s willing to pretend she has no idea what Headmistress is referring to.
Off to pick up the big kids. They don’t comment on my hair. They want to know if they are able to save enough money, would I consider buying an alpaca. You read that correctly. An alpaca. I guess poacher boy has decided he doesn’t want to kill all animals. Those alpacas are a mighty fine species, and he knows someone who has some for sale. Fighting then ensues over who gets to tell me the distinctions between an alpaca and a llama.
I don’t make this stuff up folks. I just report it.